


The masculinity question

by ChopinWorshipper



Series: The Olympians and their everyday shenanigans [3]
Category: Ancient Greek Religion & Lore
Genre: Deal With It, Gen, because this is ancient greece, dionysos is THE drag queen!, dionysos is a drag queen, if you don't agree then why are you here, implied Ares/Athena, it gets really silly, slight hints of misogyny, the gods are talking about manliness, toxic manliness implied, yes athena and ares are married here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:07:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25557088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChopinWorshipper/pseuds/ChopinWorshipper
Summary: The gods argue who is more manly and who less. Hilarity ensues.
Relationships: Ares/Athena (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore)
Series: The Olympians and their everyday shenanigans [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2148963
Kudos: 30





	The masculinity question

"Dionysos, you really should consider stopping the crossdressing", Hermes snickered, "You look even more girly than normally!"

Dionysos grinned, being unfazed by this comment: "Why not? I feel perfectly fine in a dress. It makes me feel FABULOUS!!!" 

And then the fireworks exploded behind him and Hermes snickered - Dionysos was such a drama queen! Literally!

Apollon joined them, asking: "What are you talking about?"

Dionysos giggled: "Oh, just about what a woman Hermes thinks I am!"

The god of music remarked: "Well, actually I must agree with him. You look pretty much like a woman and act like one as well."

The god of wine shrugged: "True, but that's what I'm comfortable with. Besides, I still can fight like a man, can't I?"

The messenger scratched his head: "Yeah, but how often do we get to see that?"

"Uhhh..."

"Hey guys, what are you talking about?", Hephaistos asked, passing by in his wheelchair.

Suddenly Apollon, Dionysos and Hermes started giggling. 

When Hephaistos raised a questioning brow, Hermes explained: "We're talking about manliness."

"Aha", the fire god replied, "And since you started giggling when I started talking to you, what does that have to do with me?"

Apollon grinned: "Oh, we just wonder how someone with such a strong upper body as yours can have such a feminine voice and face."

Hephaistos gaped at the blond in disbelief: "Excuse me?!"

Hermes nodded: "Yeah. You look so much like your mother, it's creepy."

"Well, who else am I supposed to look like?! Hera is my only parent!", Hephaistos snapped.

"It's not just your looks", Apollon said, "You have her voice too. And her temper."

The smith scoffed: "You talk about it like it's a bad thing."

"Well, it's just that it's not very helpful when it comes to manliness and..."

Suddenly a strange voice spoke up: "Oi, leave my brother alone, will ya? Besides, have ya looked into a mirror yourself lately, Sunny Boy? You're twice as girly as your sister Artemis!"

"What?", Apollon snapped, "At least I don't have the hips of a woman!"

Ares looked confused. "The hips of a...?"

"He means your broad hips", Hephaistos clarified. 

Ares' face darkened for a second. Then he suddenly smirked: "You checked out my hips?"

Apollon blushed bright scarlet: "Wh-no! Don't flatter yourself, you brute, you! Why you are the god of manliness is beyond me!"

Hermes winced, Dionysos just looked pensively: "Hmm, now that you say it..."

"Is someone talking shit about my husband and his brother?", another voice suddenly said and everyone but Ares and Hephaistos jumped.

Athena stepped to her husband and, together with him and Hephaistos, left the hall like a boss.

Apollon, Dionysos and Hermes just exchanged a glance and agreed that of all gods dwelling on Olympus, Athena was the manliest.


End file.
